


Nice Ass

by whoredan



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Affectionate Insults, Dinner Party, First Kiss, Formal, M/M, Suits, also iwaizumi's ticklish, but he wont admit it obvs, iwaizumi really fucking likes oikawa, oikawa looks great in a suit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-01
Updated: 2016-09-01
Packaged: 2018-08-12 08:49:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7928416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whoredan/pseuds/whoredan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It was official.</p><p>Hajime hated Oikawa.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nice Ass

**Author's Note:**

> this came from a random plot generator, and the prompt was "iwaizumi and oikawa attend a formal dinner party" or something along the lines of that.  
> also i listened to this playlist while writing, feel free to check it out and add songs that you think suit iwaoi pls https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLv7Cu4Z_smWub_lMiE9Wt2tTkcQWSSh-V  
> follow me on tumblr kindahecky.tumblr.com

It was official.

Hajime hated Oikawa.

Well... No, not really. His best friend had been the object of Hajime's affection for quite a while now, unbeknownst to Tooru. But still.

The reason that Iwaizumi was convinced he loathed Oikawa this time was quite simple, to be honest.

A week prior, Oikawa, being the insufferably popular asshat that he is, had been offered an invitation to a formal dinner party hosted by some other insufferable popular asshat whom Iwaizumi had yet to be acquainted with. Nonetheless, he despised him, as well, because of course Trashykawa had to force Iwaizumi to come with him as a plus one.

"Pleeease, Iwa-chan! I'll even let you borrow one of my old suits, to save you embarrassment of going in one of those monstrosities you own!" Oikawa had begged, yet again slipping in an insult to Hajime's fashion sense.

"I don't want to borrow your clothes, Assykawa, they probably wouldn't fit me anyway," Iwaizumi shot back, adding in a flick to Oikawa's head.

"I was talking about my suits from junior high, Chibi-chan," Tooru teases, using his most common nickname for that #10 from Karasuno.

"Five centimeters, you ass."

"We're straying from the topic, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa reminded him.

"If I go with you, you're buying me ramen tomorrow," he bargains.

Oikawa sighs. "Fiiine, Iwa-chan. Now, come on, if you're not borrowing one of my suits, we're going shopping for one!"

"It's 11 PM, Oikawa!," Hajime exclaimed as he was dragged to some suit shop that was fortunately(or unfortunately) still open at this time. 

And now, 5 days later, Iwaizumi was standing in Oikawa's bedroom, his newly bought(out of his own wallet, thank you very much) button down shirt exposing his bare torso, with Tooru standing in front of him, buttoning it up for him.

"You know, I think I know how to button up a shirt, Shittykawa," Iwaizumi sighs, exasperated.

He could practically feel Oikawa's warm breath on his head as he said something that Iwaizumi didn't bother to listen to.

Oikawa's suit fit him well, Hajime would admit. Maybe too well. The jacket framed his torso as if it had been custom made(thinking about it, it probably had been), and... OKAY, his ass looked kind of nice. Maybe. Iwaizumi would deny it if you asked, but, spoiler, those pants fit Tooru exceptionally.

"Iwa-chan, are you even listening to me?" Oikawa mutters, holding the collar of Hajime's shirt and contemplating something. "Should the top button be left as is, or should I button it?"

Iwaizumi snaps out of his inner dialogue about Oikawa's body and looks up at his friend. "Uh, just leave it unbuttoned."

Oikawa nods. "Can you manage the tie, or do I have to do that for you as well?"

Iwaizumi sighs, snatching the tie out of Oikawa's long fingers.

"I can tie a tie, Assykawa."

He can't. 

But it can't be that hard, right? he thinks to himself.

He does not want Oikawa to have the satisfaction of being right, so he attempts to imitate how he watched Tooru tie his earlier, to no avail. All the while, Oikawa is watching over Hajime's shoulder, a gloating smirk on his face. 

"Was I right or was I right, Iwa-chan?" He practically sings.

"Fuck you."

"You wound me, Iwa-chan," Oikawa says overdramatically, untangling the mess that Iwaizumi had turned his tie into and nimbly folding over the cloth and doing all these weird knot things that Iwaizumi knew he wouldn't have been able to mimic.

The top of Oikawa's head was unbearably close to Iwaizumi's face, his hair brushing against his nose and making him want to sneeze. He held it back, just to avoid Oikawa overreacting and insisting they stay behind to redo his hair. God, he could hear the whining now, as if some sort of alternate dimension was seeping into their own.

"Done!" Oikawa steps back, admiring his work. "Now, what do you say, Iwa-chan?"

Iwaizumi sends a pointed glare towards Oikawa. "Hm, I wonder what you could possibly want me to say," he deadpans.

Oikawa jabs his hand into Iwaizumi's side, making him jump. 

"Oh my god. Oikawa, no, don't."

Oikawa flashes a devillish grin, repeatedly poking Iwaizumi's sides.

Iwaizumi yells. "Okay, okay, thank you!"

Oikawa smiles sweetly. "There, was that so hard, Iwa-chan?"

He glares. "Whatever, let's just go, Assikawa," Iwaizumi says, walking towards the door while putting on his jacket.

"Ah ah ah, don't you forget who's driving?" Oikawa taunts, spinning his car keys around his fingers.

Iwaizumi groans. "I hate you," he says, though he knows it isn't true.

"Mhm, sure, Iwa-chan," Oikawa turns the door handle after waving goodbye to his mother, who had wished them luck, told them not to be out to late, etc.

"Have a good night, boys!" She calls as they're walking out.

"You too, Oikawa-san!"

"Thanks, Okaa-san!"

Oikawa climbs into the driver seat of his car, sticking the key into the ignition. Iwaizumi sits in the passenger seat, looking over at Oikawa.

His face was illuminated by the setting sun, which filtered through his hair and made parts of it look golden. Damn his good looking friend. 

His hands, a setter's hands, were wrapped around the steering wheel loosely, but even so, his fingers almost touched the heel of his palm. He assumed that Oikawa could wrap his entire hand around Hajime's wrist with no problem. But the hands themselves...

Iwaizumi had only held those hands a small number of times. The most recent of times, however, had only been a few months prior, after the Spring Tournament. Oikawa had managed to keep his cool for a long time after losing to Karasuno, but everyone breaks. Once the rest of the team had left, Tooru had shed the first tear, looking up at Iwaizumi from the bench. Iwaizumi remembers clearly what happened, him sitting next to Oikawa on the bench and turning him towards him, taking each of his hands in his own and attempting to comfort him. They were calloused around the fingertips, whereas Iwaizumi's were more rough in the palm. His fingers were long and nimble, and they squeezed Hajime's hands with all their might.

"Jeez, Iwa-chan, are you alright? This is the second time you've spaced out in the last hour," Oikawa glances over at Iwaizumi.

Iwaizumi nods. "I'm fine, just... thinking."

"Does it hurt?" Oikawa shoots back almost instantly, snickering.

"Thinking about how much I hate you," Iwaizumi adds on, a blunt lie.

Oikawa full on laughs. "If you say so, Iwa-chan," he says knowingly.

Iwaizumi stops what he's about to say.

Does he know?

No he doesn't.

He can't, you idiot.

He's just trying to get you riled up.

Iwaizumi was about to speak again, but was cut off by Oikawa saying, "We're here!"

"I'm so dead..." Hajime mutters, climbing out of the car and taking long strides towards the mansion-looking house to keep up with Oikawa. 

\---

This was the third girl who had "stumbled into" Oikawa tonight. Apparently her name was Azumi, though he doubted Tooru would remember that.

Oikawa flashed his signature wink-and-peace-sign look. "Pleasure meeting you, Azumi."

Iwaizumi didn't like this girl. The other two were okay, he guessed, even though they were both stuttering too much to get a word in, but this one seemed different, and Iwaizumi didn't like it one bit. Not because he was jealous or anything. Totally not.

"I was wondering if you wanted to-eep!" Azumi suddenly took a step back, a look of fear on her face. "Uhh, is your friend okay?"

Oikawa turns around to see Iwaizumi giving the girl a death glare. He laughs, a twinge of nervousness hidden inside of it.

"I think that's just Iwa-chan's normal face," Oikawa jokes.

Iwaizumi snaps back to the real world. "What?" He says, confused.

Wait.

Was I-?

No.

Oh shit.

He laughs. "Uh, sorry. I'm just angry because this asshat-" he jabs a finger at Oikawa, earning a "Rude, Iwa-chan!" from him, "dragged me along to whatever this is."

Azumi raises an eyebrow. "Uh, okay. I think I'm gonna go find Abe-kun, now."

As the girl retreats, Oikawa turns towards Iwaizumi. "What was that about?"

Iwaizumi shrugs. "I don't know," he says nonchalantly.

Oikawa raises his eyebrows repeatedly. "Could it be you're jeeealous, Iwa-chan? We both know you get no attention from the ladies."

"Shut up, Assykawa."

"Love you too, Iwa-chan," Oikawa mutters under his breath, but Iwaizumi heard, regardless.

He coughs, trying to cover his face, which was turning red at an alarming rate.

He was joking, you idiot. He thinks.

Oikawa pulls Iwaizumi's hands away from his face, concerned. "Are you getting sick, Iwa-chan?" He asks, pressing a hand to his cheek and to his forehead.

Iwaizumi slaps Oikawa's hand off his face. "I'm fine, Trashykawa."

Oikawa shrugs. "If you insist, Iwa-chan. But if you don't show up for school on Monday, I'm gonna hit you."

"What are you, my mom?" Iwaizumi mocks.

"No, I'm your BFF-" Iwaizumi groans at the childish term, "- and I'm allowed to worry about you, Iwa-chan!"

Wow, is he actually being ni-

"I mean, who else would I get to relentlessly annoy at practice?"

Nope.

"This is why I hate you."

Oikawa throws an arm around his shoulder and presses their cheeks together. "No, you loooove me, Iwa-chan!"

"You're the worse, Shittykawa," Iwaizumi tries to pry Oikawa off of him.  
"Excuse you, I am by far the best."

"Yeah, maybe when it comes to having a ni- I mean, being an ass!" Iwaizumi hopes that Oikawa didn't notice his little slip up.

Really?

Is that really still on your mind?

Jesus fuck.

Well, I lived a good life.

Oikawa smirks. "What was that?"

"I said you're the best when it comes to being an ass."

"Oh, really, because at first it sounded like somethi-"

"Oikawa! May we get a word with you?"

Oh, thank god.

Some magazine reporter had saved him at the last minute.

Oikawa grins. "Why, of course!" 

He saunters off with the reporter, then turns his head and winks at Hajime.

Iwaizumi flips him off.

\---

After a very long wait, and then another very long awkward conversation with Oikawa about being very close to saying he has a nice ass, it's finally time to go home.

They drive in silence the entire way there, Iwaizumi constantly checking his phone to see if he has any notifications, anything to distract him from this.

Oikawa pulls into his driveway after what seems like hours of driving, but doesn't get out of the car. He turns towards Iwaizumi.

 

"Do you really think that?"

"What?" Iwaizumi says, though he knows exactly what Oikawa is talking about.

"You know," Oikawa says, smirking.

"Uh... Maybe?"

"Well, for what it's worth..."

I swear, if he says that he thinks he has a nice ass too, I'm gonna throw something at him.

"You're not too bad yourself, Iwa-chan," he winks.

Iwaizumi is taken by surprise, eyes widened and mouth slightly agape. He opens and closes it, but no sound seems to escape.

Oikawa laughs, a sound that seems like heaven to Iwaizumi's ears. "Since we got that out in the open, you have anything else you wanna tell me? Like why you were so obviously staring at me on the drive to the party?"

Hajime buries his face in his hands. "I hate you," he says, the sound muffled by his hands.

Oikawa laughs again. "I think that even you beg to differ," he says, lifting Iwaizumi's face out of his hands and resting two fingers under his chin.

"You're pretty cute like this, Iwa-chan," Oikawa says softly.

"Wow, no insult to add onto that this time?" Iwaizumi grumbles. 

Why?

Who the hell knows, but Iwaizumi's mind is definitely not okay right now. 

His best friend and crush(is there really no other word for it?) is inches away from his face. They are in an extremely enclosed space. And Oikawa fucking Tooru just called him cute.

What?

Oikawa smiles. "Just like you, Iwa-chan. I'm trying to be romantic and stuff and you're just insulting me now."

Romantic.

The word reverberates in his mind.

Romantic.

He said romantic.

And before he had the chance to say anything else, Oikawa sighed and pressed their lips together.

Fireworks exploded in Iwaizumi's head as his once wide open eyes slowly shut.

Before he knew it, the kiss was over and Iwaizumi was speechless.

"There. Jeez, Iwa-chan, you are so dense."

"You just kissed me and now you're calling me dense," Iwaizumi rolls his eyes, the twinge of pink still visible on his cheeks.

"Idiotzumi."

"Shittykawa."

"Love you," Oikawa says suddenly.

The corners of Iwaizumi's mouth find themselves turning up, just a bit. And Iwaizumi is confused. Shouldn't he be thinking it's too soon?

But no. It isn't.

"Love you too, Assikawa."

**Author's Note:**

> im so sorry for my writing lmao.  
> comments and stuff are appreciated  
> wow. i am so sorry to anyone who read this before i spell checked it.  
> what the fuck are hends


End file.
